I had a very nice conversation with my daughter yesterday while we were in the car. This may not sound like an oddity to all parents but if you live with a teenager, chances are you’ll understand.  

Conversation is hard to come by. Not because my daughter doesn’t have anything to say. She has tons to say about everything…. friends, boys, school, shopping, facebook, and more. It’s just that getting her to put down her cell phone and talk to me, without distraction, requires effort beyond measure.

That is because she is never without her cell phone. She sleeps near it, she wakes to it and it accompanies her everywhere. In fact, if I didn’t know better, I would think it was a permanent appendage fused to the skin of her palm.   

Although I realize it serves as a significant vice through which she connects to her teenage world, it clearly distracts, and often prevents, her from participating in uninterrupted verbal conversation with me. Come to think of it, it’s not just me she ignores. It’s any other human who may occupy the same space in which she breathes.  

Try as you might to maintain eye contact with her, the beep of an incoming text message will snatch her away every time.

Perhaps you are wondering how I managed to sustain a focused and actually productive conversation with my daughter despite her cell phone addiction. One would assume the cell phone battery was dead, or better yet, the phone itself was misplaced or broken.

On the contrary! The phone was functioning and along for the ride.  The secret is that I asked her to put it away. Not really asked, more like insisted. You see, being the adult and the parent in charge, I feel it is my right and privilege to set rules and expectations once in awhile (wink).  

My rule is simple. It is one of many that help me live with teenagers: No cell phones in the car. They may have it with them, but it has to be turned off and out of sight. This assures me that our car rides, regardless of length, guarantee us an opportunity to talk.

Strangely enough, when the cell phone is out of the picture, real conversation takes place. In fact, on rare occasions, she even initiates them! Miracle of all miracles, we are speaking to one another. We converse with purpose and a steady exchange of thoughts and ideas. Who knew it was possible?

Sure, she fights me on the rule. Often, I have to remind her to turn off her phone upon entering the car. No, she doesn’t love the idea. Don’t forget, I am dealing with a teenager here. However, it works. It helps me stay connected to my daughter’s mind and ideas in a time when a text is far more important to her. For me, gaining conversation in exchange for a car ride is worth the price of gas!