Zach Warren can’t get a text message he received earlier this year out of his mind. In it, he learned that a close friend, a senior at Webster-Schroeder High School, had taken his own life.
“It was immediate shock and horrible sadness,” said Warren, 18, also a senior.
Two months later, the senior class was faced with sad news again: Another senior had committed suicide.
The two students’ deaths have prompted the Webster school district to host the second educational forum and discussion for parents about suicide prevention and awareness.
The forum is for parents of students in sixth through 12th grades, and is coordinated between the schools, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, TIG (Trauma, Illness and Grief), Youth Life and members of the faith community. The first forum was held in late January. The session will include a showing of the film “A Cry for Help” and small group discussions.
“As a school community, our hearts were broken and we have searched for a way to send a strong message of hope,” school district Superintendent Adele Bovard wrote in a column in the Webster Post following the first forum.
The forums will be used to help teach parents how to cultivate hope and optimism among youth. It aims to reach out to the district’s children, to let them know they’re not alone and to teach the skills needed to build resiliency.
“I definitely appreciate the school making this effort,” Warren said. “This broke the hearts of our senior class.”
Suicide is considered the third leading cause of death among young adults ages 15 to 24. Suicide rates among youth have been steadily decreasing since 1996, according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
Alisha Catalino was away at college when she received a text message to say her close friend from Webster had committed suicide in January.
“I knew that such an event, let alone this being the second suicide in the 2010 class within a few months, would greatly affect our community,” she said. “My sister is a junior, and her description of the school after these events deeply saddens me.”
Listening and talking with students who may have considered suicide, or even attempted it, can help prevent the act, according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Being willing to listen, and to not leave the person alone, can help the person seek treatment rather than take his or her own life.
“There’s so many things you can say to a kid,” Warren said. “Think about how it affects your community; think of your family and friends, and what it would mean to them. Even people you don’t know, you affect their life when you commit suicide, whether you know it or not.”
The community outside the schools has also come together in remembrance of the two students, holding a vigil at the school and creating a makeshift memorial along Lake Ontario.
“Once getting past the anger and shock of these teen suicides, I feel our community has become closer,” Catalino said. “Human life is so valuable and precious, and it’s hard to believe any one person, especially such young [people] like these in my community, could take their own lives. After someone is gone, all you really have left is the memories and the ‘wishing’ that you could have gone about things differently.”
Typical warning signs of suicide include depression, giving away prized possessions, making wishes to die, unrelenting low mood and pessimism, among others. Those who are diagnosed with a psychiatric disorder are also at higher risk for suicide. Some suicide attempts do occur without prior warning, though.
“I can’t help but think that someone should have seen signs, but now from personal experience, I know this is not always possible,” Catalino said. “I talked to (one of the victims) the night before, and did not see this coming at all.”
The shock of the suicides still rings loud through the halls of the school and in the hearts of what Warren called the “tough and spirited” class of 2010. Awareness of the issue has taught students to rely on one another more, taking a page from the popular movie “Pay It Forward.” The film suggests people do something nice for each other, and then ask that person to repay the favor by doing something nice for three more people, and so on.
“We’ve been focused on helping others in general,” Warren said. “We’re pushing ourselves to help each other in times of hardship so we can prevent something like this from happening again.”
Catalino, though away at college and not in Webster, has felt the sentiment, as well.
“We all have to become more conscious and compassionate to the frailties of life,” she said. “You never know what kind of day someone is having, or maybe what a kind word could do.”
For now, the senior class is remembering the two students by remembering the lives they lived and loved.
“Remember them and stick with each other,” Warren said. “Keep each other close. We’re progressing well, but we’re never going to forget them. But we’re moving along because we have each other.”
